Embrace your Feminity
by CuttingAcidity
Summary: In which Mike is turned into a woman. NOT MARVEY.
1. The Female Anatomy

**Embrace your Feminity**

**Once upon a time (i.e. - this morning), CuttingAcidity reread the rules of this website. She realized, author notes were against them, and decided to incorporate her note into the story. She also realized how paranoid she was about avoiding breaking rules, and apologizes for it. Besides, breaking the fourth wall is a lot of fun, and she writes for fun, so it's okay by her book. Anyway, she decides to write about Suits. Here is what she made:**

* * *

Mike Ross was late. He was late by a whole hour. He hadn't thought it would have much of an effect.

But it did. So, sadly, Harvey McUncaring had to investigate.

Donna was cranky; having missed the cup of coffee Mike brought her regularly. Louis was annoyed as he didn't have the prodigious associate to give his grunt work, and Kyle was pissed, because Louis' work was going to him instead. Rachel was the only one who actually _missed_ him.

But she had her own work to do, so she let it slide.

Harvey didn't care about what everyone felt. Hell, he didn't know who the hell Kyle _was_. But Donna was pissed, and taking it out on him, which was a health hazard, both physically and emotionally.

To be fair, it wasn't Mike's fault he hadn't been on time. If Harvey had known the problem, he'd have thanked his lucky stars Mike had the sense to be absent.

* * *

… **The author has just realized there's a perfectly good chocolate sundae in the freezer. While she eats, keep in mind that this was just the prologue. The real story's yet to begin.**

* * *

… **And we're back. Even if you didn't notice the time CA spent on her muffin, **_**she **_**did, and would like to make up for it with starting the actual story.**

**You may now face palm at her idiocy.**

* * *

Mike was currently in the most awkward situation he'd ever been in. Worse than the time he'd played tennis with Louis. Worse than the times his phone had rang in the middle of court. Worse than the time his bag had opened, and spilled piles of pot onto the floor of Harvey's office.

No, they didn't even come close.

He'd woken up feeling weird. Yesterday's client had been a scientist making 'Ultratocin', a portmanteau of 'ultra' and 'oxytocin'; a powerful hormone, that, in regular doses, could turn a man into a woman.

You can see what I'm getting at.

CA doesn't think that hormones can travel through air, and spread like diseases, but Ultratocin was apparently exempt to this rule.

The first thing Mike noticed was how heavy his chest felt. He was a skinny person, so the sensation of flesh hanging off him was completely new, and entirely uncomfortable. He put the heaviness down to coming down with a cold or something, but he knew something was wrong when a lock of hair brushed past his shoulder. CA will refrain from mentioning how he felt _down there_, because she is rather squeamish, and honestly doesn't know. She imagines it must be like losing a body part you've taken for granted, and getting a hole instead.

Mike got up and went to look for a mirror. He knew about phantom sensory, hallucinations, and cognitive impairment, but what he was feeling seems pretty weird. His hair felt like a bird had made a nest in it, and his chest was pulling him down.

When he actually got to the mirror, he saw a pretty girl, with really messy bed hair, wearing his shirt and his boxers. She almost looked like a female version of him.

It took him a minute to realize that he couldn't see himself in the mirror, but when he did, Mike splashed some water on his face, and when he _still_ wasn't visible, he went back to bed, because this was _obviously_ a dream.

* * *

**CA has decided to change the point of view now, though she could have done it in a more subtle way than just announce it like this. **

**She just doesn't listen to me anymore.**

* * *

Mike didn't pick up his phone.

Well, not on the first few rings. And even _then_ it wasn't him.

"… Harvey?" it was some _girl_, tired and croaking, though how she knew his name, Harvey didn't know.

"I'm sorry, is Mike there?" Even if Mike was cheating on his paralegal friend, Harvey felt it necessary to be polite to the woman. Besides, he already had a pissed off Donna on his hands; another angry lady was a little too much at the moment.

"… Um, Mike… won't be able to come today… sorry. He's… not well today." Harvey chuckled to himself. He wouldn't let Mike spend the day wallowing around with some _girl_, when there was _work_ to be done.

"He's sick, is he? So, if I came over there to, say, give him some soup, what would I find?"

"… Mike?"

"Oh, is that so? Well then, I'm coming over."

"What!?" Poor girl, caught in the act. "You won't do that, it's a work day. Besides, that would be outright _admitting_ you _care_. About Mike."

"Listen, woman, I don't know what the puppy told you, but I _need _him at work today. Not because I _care_ or anything, but I employed him for a _reason_, and if he thinks he can just _skip_ a day for no plausible reason, then he can skip this _job_. Believe me, there are _hundreds_ of other people who would gladly _die_ to get a chance to work for me." Okay, maybe a little harsh, but there was a point to be made, and Harvey didn't like taking the long route.

"… He's on his way."

Good.

* * *

**CA thinks the POV should be changed again. **

**Subtlety is definitely **_**not **_**her thing.**

* * *

Mike searched desperately for something to wear. He didn't own any dresses or clothes for girls, so it was quite a difficult job.

Finally, he settled on simply wearing one of his suits to work, but with the jacket unbuttoned like some girl he'd seen at the grocers. It looked weird, especially on the chest and hips, but at least he didn't look like a female hobo, if they even existed. He decided against cutting his hair, as it would make him look weird, and attract unwanted attention.

He took a quick stop to buy shoes, as none of his actually fit. Of course, this made him a little late, but he decided it was better than coming to work looking like a woman with gender dysphoria.

Then he took a cab, because women's shoes are extremely hard to ride a bike in.

He didn't know whether or not to be amused by his coworkers' expressions when they saw him. Apparently, he _turned_ them _on_.

Harvey was vaguely annoyed when a tall, dirty blonde woman walked into his office, instead of Mike.

"Harvey, I can explain."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes… or at least I think I can, I can tell you what happened but there's no guarantee you'll-

"Okay, okay, I understand." The woman was a lot like Mike in a way.

"Aha, 'I understand', the Jim Belushi of-

"Get to the point!" that was Donna through the intercom, apparently very interested in what was going on.

"Sorry Donna." Before she could ask how she knew her name, the lady leaned forward and disconnected the intercom.

"Harvey, you know our client's product, 'Ultratocin?' It turns a man into a woman?

"Yes, I am aware of 'Ultratocin'."

"Yes? Please keep that in mind as I tell you this."

Harvey smiled. He made this person nervous by his mere aura. Now that was something to be proud of.

"Okay, here goes." The woman took a deep breath. "I'm Mike."

And Harvey, very masculinely, choked on air.

* * *

**The POV's changing again.**

**Just… letting you know…**

* * *

"Okay, let me get this straight."

Mike was getting annoyed. He had explained the situation thoroughly, and lengthily, which was not an easy task, seeing as he himself didn't know much about what was going on, but Harvey still failed to understand.

"You accidentally ingested some of our client's product, and are now a fully functioning woman."

Mike sighed with frustration. "Yes, Harvey, for the last time, that's the whole story."

"Well, someone's not in a good mood today."

"Well, of course I'm not in a good mood, I'm a freaking woman! I have breasts!" Not bad ones either.

"Well, you better get used to them; I'm not letting you go home today."

Mike stared at Harvey. "You mean I have to work like this?"

"I don't see why not." Harvey was the very picture of calm, as if what was happening did not affect him at all. "Tell you what; I'm going to introduce you to everyone as a woman. And you better work, because if you can't handle hormonal imbalance, you're not worth the money we pay you."

"… Okay." After all, there was nothing he could do.

* * *

**CA will end the first part here. She apologizes that it isn't that well written, but she had fun writing it- and she hopes you had fun reading it too. If you didn't like the way she broke the fourth wall, do tell her, because then she can write it normally, and blame you if anyone asks. (Joking, joking). CA is not much of a Marvey fan, so she's planning to write a story wherein Mike is a girl **_**from the beginning**_** so she can try something new and fun**

**Feedback is appreciated!**


	2. Gender Dysmorphia 101

**Yay, CA is back with a brand new adventure! (Not really.) She thanks you ****hikeyosemite**, **Korkman2,** **TiaraLShelton, and that one guest for your lovely reviews, they meant a lot to her. So, here is the latest chapter of Embrace your Feminity. She hopes you liked it. (And I have followed _'s advice, and the characters break the fourth wall).**

**Also, the drug 'Ultratocin' is a portmanteau of 'ultra' and 'oxytocin'. Oxytocin causes that head over heels, knee shaking, mouth drying, and mind boggling feeling in love. And orgasms. The woman's hormone is estrogen, while the male one is testosterone. That's not to say women don't have testosterone in their bodies, they do, but not like males. These hormones are most evident during puberty, in which changes take place in the body. Women receive a gradual increase, but since Mike missed this phase… well, you're going to have to read to find out, right?**

* * *

Mike sighed. What did he do wrong this time? He read the briefs he was working on for the millionth time, and found yet another mistake. Boy, he was a little too distracted today. It was little compensation that he was distracting his fellow coworkers too- either by his apparent attractiveness, or by his vibe of bewildered frustration. His highlighter felt different in his slim, long fingers. His chest pressed against his vest (no, he didn't wear a brassier, because he didn't own one- duh- and, even if he had, he didn't know how to wear one). He thought back to this morning. After coming to work, Harvey had chased him out of his office, and given him a shitload of briefs to keep Mike busy/Harvey entertained.

"Hey Miss." Mike looked up and saw Kyle staring at him, surprisingly not as venomously as usual.

"Hi, Kyle." Mike smiled sweetly at Kyle, or at least tried to.

"How do you know- you know what, never mind." Mike suppressed a giggle at that remark. Wait, what? "You're pretty. How do you know Mike?"

"Uh, we're… cousins."

"Oh. You're a lot more attractive than he is, you know. What's your name again?"

"Sue." Mike had blurted out the first name that came to mind. "Sue Price." Again, he had blurted out the first surname that came to mind, his mother's maiden name. Maybe. CA is just making stuff up here.

"Okay then, Miss Price. How does dinner sound?" Horrible, but Mike- or rather Sue- felt it was needed to be polite. She (because writing he is weird) smiled and shook her head.

"Sorry, Kyle, but it's against my policy to date assholes. Maybe, if we're the only ones left on earth after the apocalypse, and we have to copulate in order to revive the human species, I might consider it. But even then it's just a 2 or 3 percent chance. Sorry." Okay, maybe not very polite, but it was _fun_. Besides, the jerkwad _deserved_ it. As it was, said jerkwad stared dumbly at her. He stuttered an excuse and ran back to his cubicle. Sue smiled. This was fun.

* * *

"Mike." Sue turned out of habit, and found herself face to face to Donna.

"… uh, hi Donna. Mike's not here, do you want me to take a message?"

"Yes, tell him I understand that his problem is too confusing to think straight in, and that's why he hid it from me, but next time I'm not letting him off so lightly." Sue visibly choked on air.

"You know?" Donna smiled a patronizing smile.

"Being omnipotent also entails knowing absolutely everything. Yes, I know." Sue grinned sheepishly as Donna turned and walked away.

"Oh, and CA?" Donna grinned at the air. "Are you sure Sue is only name you could think of?" **Amazing, even CA's **_**characters**_** are mocking her. I'd laugh if I wasn't her in-fic spokesperson. CA would like to remind Donna that she is capable of doing **_**anything**_** to her, as she is in **_**her**_** story.**

"You couldn't."

**Of course she can't, she's far too gone. In the same way she can't do anything to me, however much I abuse my authority.**

Sue dismissed Donna's apparent conversation with God, whom she kept referring to as 'CA' as a jab at her name. It wasn't her fault the paperwork she was doing was of some guy called Adam suing his partner, Patrick.

"Uh, hey… Sue, right?" she looked up and saw Harold smiling bashfully. Harold was one of the nicer associates, so she smiled warmly back.

"Yes. You must be Harold." Sue _did _have a learning curve.

"Hey, he mentioned me! No one ever notices me but him. Is he okay? He didn't turn up today." Awww, that was so sweet. He cared about Mike.

"Yeah, he…" He what? Sue thought fast. "He's not well. He's in… quarantine, yeah, and he can't come back for… some time. I'll tell him you cared."

* * *

**Alert! CA likes writing crack, so the next section will be kind of like crack. But only a little, of course. If you don't like crack pairings, this is a warning, so ignore the crackiness, and if you don't even have **_**that**_** much mental capacity, why don't you just skip it?**

* * *

"Oh. Mike is nice, isn't he?" Sue smiled and nodded, because who honestly doesn't like praise. Suddenly she saw Harold lean in.

"Can I tell you a secret?"

"Uh Huh…" Sues voice was an octave higher than she'd have liked it to be.

"… I think I'm in love with Mike Ross." Sue inhaled sharply as Harold took her hands in his.

"He's so sweet, and gentle, and kind… he's the only one who actually talks to me." Sue smiled nervously.

"I… won't tell him, I think you deserve to tell him yourself… Uh, see you around." Harold smiled gratefully, and walked back to his cubicle. Sue breathed a sigh of relief. If this was what it was like to be a woman around here… Well, Donna was even more of a Goddess than he had thought.

* * *

**Crack level passed.**

* * *

"Mike…?" Rachel's voice jolted him out of his mental extol of women's rights. "No, you're not Mike…" Apparently Rachel was looking for him. Suddenly Sue found her glaring at her.

"Why are you at Mike's desk?"

"I'm covering for him while he's sick."

"What happened to him?"

"Uh… Hyperthesmia." Not entirely a lie.

"… Oh. And you are…?"

"Sue Price, Mike's cousin."

"Hmm."Rachel actually looked disappointed. Sue was delighted.

"You like him, don't you?" Sue teased. Even if Rachel denied it, it was fun to be able to say stuff like this.

"I… actually do." Sue turned red. Rachel said something about a mistake in Sue's paperwork, but she was too busy chanting 'She likes me' in her head to listen.

* * *

**CA is a big Rachel/Mike shipper. Even if she wasn't, she isn't good at homoerotic works. She thanks all who took the time to read this. She notices that her style of writing has changed since last time. But she enjoyed writing this, she hoped you did too. Also a sequel planned for Actors and Actresses, and the fic she mentioned last chapter, but is too lazy to explain again. After a marathon of Eye of the Tiger and the disco remix of YMCA, this is the best she could do (Shame on her).**

**Feedback is appreciated 3**


	3. Study of Hormonal Imbalance

**Embrace your Feminity 3**

**Day 1 is still going on**

**And it won't end because CA's a moron**

**Thankfully it's passing now**

**With a cute little bow**

* * *

The day had passed extremely slowly, but, for once, Sue was free enough to leave early. It was a beautiful Saturday evening, leaving her with a lot of time to think about dealing with her predicament. She had arranged to go shopping with Rachel, who had immediately agreed to help when Sue had told her that she had had to use tape on her chest, for lack of proper… undergarments? So right now she was sitting in a cab next to the girl of her dreams.

"Why don't you own any clothes?" Rachel interrupts her train of thought.

"My luggage was stolen." It was the only plausible explanation Sue had been able to think of. Thankfully, Rachel had accepted it, and they were now going to a lingerie store. CA can tell you from experience that going to a lingerie store is an awkward experience even for a girl. It was even more awkward for poor Sue, who felt it in her bones that she didn't belong here.

"Bra size?" asked a female attendant. Panicking Sue made up something about her phone ringing, and walked to a corner. Looking around she saw a chart that showed the measurement for bras. Sue knew how to measure these things. She finished her 'phone call', and walked up to the lady.

"Well, you see, my… breasts have grown a little since I last bought underwear, so could I have some tape?" The female attendant smirked, and muttered "Well someone's getting some," but gave her the tape anyway. Sue hurried into an empty stall and… Let's keep this family friendly, so we'll just say she did the necessary, albeit very awkwardly.

"C-cup please." She breathed, after finishing what must have been the most awkward thing she'd done to _anyone's_ breasts. The lady giggled, and took out a bunch of designs. Rachel had gone to get something to eat, so Sue was all alone. Well, not all alone, as there was another woman who was looking at the selection of brassieres laid out in front of Sue.

"Cough-slut-cough".

"What did you just say!?" Sue whipped around and glared at the woman who had the gall to call her a… you know.

"You heard me. Slut."

"I am not a slut."

"Oh, don't deny it, I heard what you said. 'My breasts have grown a little since I last bought underwear'. Please, that only happens to whores and sluts."

"Apologize right now!" Sue had no idea why she was getting so worked up over something so small.

"Or what, huh?" The woman started poking her. "What're you going to do, huh? Huh?"

Right then Rachel walked in with two falafels and a smile on her face, and immediately gasped.

Because right then Sue had punched a woman, knocking her to the ground.

Rachel dropped some cash on the counter, grabbed a bunch of brassieres, and quickly steered Sue out of the store.

* * *

**CA didn't want this to be too risqué, but still thought that she had to account for brassieres. In the first draft, Sue had hit Rachel for accusing her of not helping Mike look after Grammy. In the second draft, Sue hit the woman for insulting Rachel. But she finally decided on this draft, because… well, I don't think she has much of a reason, except that she started writing this, and was too lazy to change it. Being an in-fic spokesperson demands honesty, no matter how brutal, boss. (In CA's country you can get away with calling **_**anyone**_** boss).**

* * *

**POV is changing in unsubtle way, making you wish that all the noise would go away (Yeah!)**

* * *

"She called you a _slut_?" Rachel giggled. She couldn't believe that someone could call Sue, the female version of Mike, who was himself the human version of a puppy, a _slut_. Sure she was blonde, but her hair looked ridiculous, like she'd never had to brush hair in her life before. Sure she had big breasts, but some people got it naturally. She wasn't even that pretty- awkward and unsure; this was the girl who stayed at home with her cat, rather than going to the bar for sex. "So what's your number?"

"Huh?"

"You know, how's your love life?"

"Well… I'm in a committed relationship."

"Who with?"

"Um… John Doe."

"John Doe!? Seriously?" What were the odds of someone having the name 'John Doe'? What cruel parents.

"… Yeah, enough about me how's your love life?"

"Well… I guess I have someone I like."

Sue giggled. "Its Mike, isn't it?"

"… Yeah."

"Wait, seriously!? I thought you'd been kidding…"

"Well, he's like a puppy, you know, wagging his tail at you like you're the only one in the world, making you feel special… And for some reason you just feel like looking after him. I think every woman deserves a puppy. I think every woman deserves a _Mike_." Rachel laughed nervously, she wasn't usually this open. But then again, no one had ever just sat down and talked to her without intending to sleep with her afterwards.

"You should tell him." Sue jolted her out of her thoughts.

"Tell who what?"

"Tell Mike you like him. The way I see it, he really likes you too. Besides, he seems to have a thing for unavailable women." Yes, CA has noticed that. "Maybe he goes for relationships that will never work because deep down, he's waiting for you." Rachel felt her cheeks heat up.

"Well… Maybe it's his personal kink." Noticing Sue's flinch, Rachel hurriedly changed the topic.

"So, uh… How's your family?"

"… Don't have much of one anymore."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, what happened?"

"Well, my parents died, and… so did everyone else, I guess." This was the truth. Sue had never actually said this out loud, and she felt her chest tighten. **(Yes, finally a subtle POV change!)** Rachel noticed this and put her hand on her shoulder.

"I had Grammy, but now she's gone…" Sue felt tears behind her eyes, and vaguely wondered when the last time she actually cried in front of someone was. The fact that it was in front of Grammy didn't help. "She's gone because I wasn't there for her." The tears were now streaming freely down her cheeks. "I'm a horrible person!" she exclaimed, and then buried her face in her hands. "Damn hormones."

Rachel simply put her arms around her, allowing her to lean on her. Poor girl, she was all alone, the least she could do was comfort her.

* * *

**(CA apologizes for making Sue cry, but she felt it was necerray to show the effect of the sudden overdose of estrogen on her. CA has a lot of things to do, her novel, this, a parody, a crossover with Dharma and Greg… I wonder why she does all this. She works best when she's supposed to be working on something else, and all these loose plots are a product of procrastinating with this fic. **

**Although she would continue to write even **_**without**_** reviews and feedback, please do, she might give me a raise. I want that raise. Give it to me!)**


	4. Coping with Menstruation

**Coping with Menstruation**

**Oh, happy day, I got me a raise! Now I can get a fancy font for myself! Of course, you can't see it, but it's there, alright. CA would like to thank all who reviewed (a Guest and Caitey); they made her smile, and got me a raise, so thank you from me too. I shall continue to work for this idiot, who is making up this story as she goes. Anyway, on with the story! Takes place on a Monday, by the way.**

"You look well rested." Harvey looked at Mike, or rather Sue, as s/he called him/herself now. He was right; usually his associate had dark circles and a rumpled suit. Today it was a woman's suit, impeccably neat, and though she wore no makeup, Sue's face appeared to glow in the fluorescent lights.

"Yeah, Louis didn't approach me even once on Saturday (he thinks that since I'm a woman, my capabilities are automatically subpar), so I was able to finish your work and get a good night's sleep." Sue looked pretty happy with herself. Harvey allowed her to bask in her good luck, before handing her a pile of sheets.

"Finish this by one; we'll be paying our clients a visit." He waved her out, and she rolled her eyes as she walked out, and tried not to peep at the fan letter Donna was writing to someone called 'C. Acidity'.

"You wish," muttered Donna. **Let it be known that I agree. **Yet again Sue wondered who Donna was talking to, but hurried to her cubicle to finish her work. She wanted to get her work done as soon as possible, as she rather liked to visit clients. Plus, she needed something to distract her from the events of the weekend. Saturday had been dreamlike, punching a woman at a lingerie store, and then crying all over Rachel. How she made it home, she didn't remember (actually she did, but she'd rather not think about it, thank you very much), but when she did, she had no idea what to do. What did women do before sleeping? Was there a secret ritual she wasn't aware of? It took a lot of guts to undress, as simply looking at herself felt like cheating on Rachel, even though they weren't involved, and she was pretty sure lesbians didn't face this problem. Then she slapped herself to get herself out of that train of thought, and I slapped CA for writing with such long sentences.

Sunday had been a little better, although Rachel had kept glancing at Sue like she was about to jump off a cliff, which was actually pretty close to what she was thinking, and had paid for everything, i.e. - two pantsuits, because she looked ridiculous (which is officially CA's favorite word) in normal suits, and some jeans, because her jeans hung off her at weird angles. Never before had she been so aware of the anatomical differences between men and women. But it had passed relatively uneventfully; Rachel had even brought chocolate ice cream for them, and told her that if she ever needed anything she was there for her. Then she had asked if she had enough… sanitary pads, and Sue had borrowed some of hers, in the event that she did start bleeding in her underwear, she could minimize the damage to her clothes, although the idea of bleeding for twenty eight days scared her a little.

But the weekend was over, and now it was back to working with Harvey. She finished her work, and excitedly deposited it on Donna's desk, before retrieving it, and personally depositing it on Harvey's desk, lest she face the wrath of The Great Donna, who blackmailed CA into writing that.

"Done so soon?" It usually took Sue a long time to finish Harvey's work, but now that Louis was practicing misogynism with her, she was able to do things incredibly fast, with a smile on her face (well, not exactly, but she was as happy as someone with a pile of paperwork could be). But she had holed herself up in the file room to do it, as Harold kept sending weird looks in her direction, and she could almost hear the universe laughing at her misery. **You are, aren't you?** Sue grinned. Finally out of the office, where everyone seemed to have their eyes on her, even Donna, who she swore was laughing at her behind her back. She followed Harvey into his limousine, trying to ignore the looks she was getting from most of the associates (except Harold, who gave her a good natured smile and wave).

Most of the ride was lost in trying to find a comfortable way to sit, and Harvey tapping her for fidgeting too much, but they soon reached. 37 Brooklyn avenue **(CA is not American, but even if she was, she's no good with geography. She made that up. Hopefully). **Home of the genius scientist Maude Islington, creator of the infamous Ultratocin. Sue wondered why she had expected to go somewhere else.

**Ah, CA would have ended the chapter here, except that she hasn't actually written anything of substance yet. **

**You're welcome. **

"Harvey, what a lovely surprise!" Maude smiled warmly at her lawyer and his companion. Such a lovely lady was she, smiling politely, and keeping to herself, almost as if afraid of contracting a disease from her home. Luckily she had some leftover lasagna she could heat.

"Okay, Maude, let's cut to the chase." Harvey's voice held no indication of seriousness, yet Maude could tell he meant business.

**No, you can't stop now, CA.**

Sue was feeling very uncomfortable. She was in the home of the person responsible for her… condition. Said person had also served her lasagna, and told her that she and Harvey looked cute together, making her choke on her own spit.

Harvey blinked.

"I see." Sue looked up, and realized that she had missed most of the conversation so far. Miss Maude was nodding her head to something Harvey had said. She looked at her.

"Mike, how are you feeling?"

"Fine." She replied before she realized what she was doing. Maude nodded again, eerily reminiscent of a doctor nodding at a patient.

"I see." She turned to Harvey, now looking more like a pediatrician than anything else. "Ultratocin can't spread through the air, so your associate must have somehow ingested it by accident. Changes this extreme don't usually occur, so either Mike has an unusually low level of testosterone, or he OD'd on the drug. Either way, the effects probably won't last longer than a few weeks, a month at the most." She turned back to Mike. "So, young man, do you prefer tampons or sanitary pads? I have both, if you need any."

As Mike assured the doctor he was fine, he made a mental promise never to ask his future children anything like this.

**CA worked hard on this, so I will refrain from insulting the moron, who totally deserves it, today. Besides, she bought me a new font. It makes me look very thin, and emphasizes my curves. You know the curves in the letter C, and U… Such a dirty mind you have. Anyway, CA is relatively new to typing on Microsoft word, as she used to do the majority of her writing on a tablet. There are going to be mistakes, so do report them to her, and she will work on fixing them. In other news, the letter from Donna:**

_To: C. Acidity_

_Regarding my role in your recent story, Embrace you Feminity, I feel I have little significance, except to make fun of Mike, or Sue, as s/he calls him/herself. Which is not the point, it's just that… I fell ignored. I work __so __hard to make it here, and you just don't include me? I'm not saying that I need the attention, it's just that I want my efforts (*tear-stain*) be acknowledged. I can forgive my role in Suitcases, as you're only insulting the people who (*tear-stain*) the advertisement. (*tear-stain*) Sorry for crying all over the paper, but… I feel I deserve the respect I'm asking for._

_Okay, let's put it another way. If you give me a better role, I won't tell anyone about what you do every night… Deal? Good. _

_Love_

_Donna._

**Not much of a secret, but CA doesn't want it to get out. So, of course, you will be seeing a bit more of Donna in the next chapters. If you don't, Donna will tell you what CA does every night. Don't worry, it's legal. Just embarrassing.**

**CA says I'm too mean, so she's hiring an assistant for me. If you review, I might be able to get a good one. Or better yet, I won't need one. **

**That's me saying review, by the way.**


End file.
